To get from where I was to where I am now.
A lot of who I was,
Got left behind.
It is so hard,
To go back and find it again.
To pick it back up from the past.

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As these days of hard work close.
The present, of the future that I chose.
Clears me of the mistakes I did fear.
The days of freedom are almost here.

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I dream of a day,
That I am ready to stay.
All I can say,
Is that its not today.

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I must walk this whole world until I turn old.
I feel her hand on my skin and the scars left unseen.
What am I now?
I am now what I will be.

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I never felt more alive than I did the day I looked into the eyes of a man, who wanted me dead.

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I feel your fingers running through my hair, the sound of Kookaburras echo in the air.

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I should remember this feeling.
This half remembered longing for a freedom sacrificed to say goodbye.
To live without guilt or fear, the cost of which was more than time.
This year has given me so much and taken more than I could have forseen.
Success casts a shadow of failure.

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All my energy, all my light, all my joy, it is for others.
I give it to them freely and willingly.
I keep up the facade, the act.
I play they joker for the people in my life who deserve my life.
In truth, I am nothing.
I am a ghost drifting through sadness and loss.
A lonely spectre drenched in despair with a smile painted across my face.
My happiness is forgetting my sorrow.
A brief respite from my constant.
A fool’s peace.

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2023-2024

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